I knew that I didn't know. (Remember this?)
But I thought I had a clue.
I truly didn't.
I have had always had a variety of friends. Those who look like me and those who didn't. Those who spoke my language and those who didn't. Those who worshiped like me and those who didn't. I have cherished all of my friendships. I love to listen. I love to share. I take great value in friends who confide in me and teach me. I have been learning.
I still have a lot to learn.
I knew there was racism in my country. I knew that rude, cruel acts occurred.
I thought it wasn't that often though. I thought it only happened sometimes. I thought it was less common than not. I didn't realize it was layered: sometimes blatant but sometimes subtle. Sometimes "easy to ignore," but when small acts pile up, they aren't small any more, are they?
I thought it was enough that I was nice. I thought it was enough that I was kind. I thought it was enough that I would never judge solely on skin color.
These past two weeks I've learned that it isn't enough.
Not even close.
My kindness is a mere candle compared to the floodlight of racism encountered daily by too many black people.
A pitiful, flickering candle.
Somehow I have to figure out how to do more. I have to teach my children.
It isn't enough to be kind.
Why didn't I already see that?
Why did it take this to see that?
My heart is breaking under the pressure of my inadequacy and the weight of your stories and your voices. So many of my friends are sharing their experiences on social media. Stories that, for the most part, I had not heard.
And yet for those friends, these aren't stories.
This is life.
People like me need to figure out what to do next, because this has to be it. Please let this be the generation where it ends. Let today's black kids grow up feeling confident to wear hoodies, to jog in their neighborhoods, to go shopping, to play in the park, to not be a suspect based on only one characteristic, to breathe.
Please.
And I'm sorry. I'm so very, very sorry.
Black. Lives. Matter.
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| My kids drew this back in March with covid-19 in mind. Now it is relevant in so many more ways. |
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