Soundtrack of our first year in Gabon

These are the songs that I played almost nonstop this past year. If you have time to listen, I included links to the songs. (The titles are clickable links.) If not, the lyrics most important to me are quoted in my explanations below.


Passport Home by JP Cooper
This song was shared with me by my sister-in-law Alia. So one reason I love the song is because it makes me feel closer to Alia. Also, the lyrics are beautiful. The theme of passport and home really resonant with me and my lifestyle. I like the idea of the person you love being your passport to getting home. This song also makes me think of when I return to my parents and siblings and the families my siblings have made, and how they always welcome us back. They're our guiding light to the idea of America as our home.

You're the only one who knows 
every weakness I've exposed 
and I can't believe you chose 
to see this through.

You're my passport home, 
my guiding light, my hand to hold.


Runnin' Home to You by Grant Gustin
This song evokes a few memories. First of all, it was shared with me by my sister Amy. Second, because of hearing this song, my husband and I started watching the television show it is from (The Flash). And third, when I shared this song with my family, it became one of Daniel's favorite songs, one that he asked me to sing to him before bedtime, and he memorized it also.

This world can race by far too fast. 
Hard to see while it's all flying past. 
But, it's clear now, 
when you're standing here now, 
I am meant to be 
wherever you are next to me.


Home by Phillip Phillips
This song was also originally shared with me by my sister Amy. This one she shared with me a few years ago, but this move of ours last year brought the song back to the forefront of my memory. It is such a beautifully simple song, and when I sing along, I feel myself making a promise to my children just as my parents did for me with each move. It's no simple feat, starting over.

Hold on to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave is stringing us along
Just know you’re not alone
'Cause I’m going to make this place your home
Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found
Just know you’re not alone
'Cause I’m going to make this place your home


Tightrope by Michelle Williams
I went to see The Greatest Showman here in Gabon with a friend. It had been dubbed into French, but all the songs remained in the original English. Since my French is not fantastic, I really relied heavily on the amazing acting and the beautiful songs to follow the story line. I relate to the lyrics in this song very fiercely.

Some people long for a life that is simple and planned
Tied with a ribbon
Some people won't sail the sea 'cause they're safer on land
To follow what's written
But I'd follow you to the great unknown
Off to a world we call our own


Unsteady by X Ambassadors
I actually first heard this song, because it was covered by an a cappella group from my alma mater. I really love the original version. This song makes me think of young Mimi moving around, especially the move to Brazil and from Brazil.

Mama, come here
Approach, appear
Daddy, I'm alone
'Cause this house don't feel like home

These words remind me of how I felt after leaving Brazil and moving to Indiana. I remember coming downstairs at night when I was too sad to sleep and looking for my parents. I have a vivid memory of finding my mom one night. She was at her desk in our kitchen, and I climbed onto her lap even as a twelve year old and just cried.

Mother, I know
That you're tired of being alone

These lyrics remind me of our move to Brazil. My parents had lived in upstate New York for almost ten years and had deep friendships and roots there. Then we moved to Michigan for a few years where they also made friends, and then it was off to Brazil. The language did not come easily to my mom. Dad was at the office every day, and the kids were at school all day, and my mom was left to figure out how to manage a household in a country where she couldn't be understood and didn't know anyone. Now as a mother and wife who has been transplanted to a foreign country, I understand better how she felt.

Remembering these feelings of mine as a child help me mother my children as their hearts cry: If you love me, don't let go. Hold on to me 'cause I'm a little unsteady.

California by Mindy Gledhill
This is another song that my sister shared with me. She shared it around the time that Jeff and I were just embarking on this Foreign Service life, and she told me the song reminded her of us. Years later, it remains true.

Pack your bags and lock your door
I'll take you places you've not been before
All I've ever wished to do is
Travel through this life with you


The World Es Mi Familia by Anthony Gonzalez and Antonio Sol
This song is a double whammy: it came out during a period of time where I missed living in Mexico, and the lyrics are just so true. Music, singing, so often has been my language, been my way to communicate when simple speech either fails or is impossible. And I'm pleasantly surprised time and time again when I discover people willing to let me not only into their friend circles but also into their families.

For this music is my language 
and the world es mi familia.


Never Give Up by Sia
I accidentally found this song when my daughter was trying to describe a song she had heard at school in dance class. This was not the song she was looking for, but it immediately appealed to me, and when I found out it was from the soundtrack of that phenomenal movie Lion, I knew I needed to buy the song. It has an Indian vibe, which also fits this year well, because I have never before had so many friends from India. There is a sizable Indian population here in Libreville, and they are so welcoming and lovely. The lyrics below have been a good mantra on difficult days here.

I won't let you get me down
I'll keep gettin' up when I hit the ground
Oh, never give up, no, never give up no, no, oh

I'll find my way, find my way home, oh, oh, oh


You're Like Comin' Home by Lonestar
This song was lost in my huge iTunes music library, but it came up as a search result when I was looking for songs about home. A main reason it made it onto my list is because it's country, and country was a genre I listened to a lot when I lived in Indiana, so it made me think of that home I once had. My favorite lines in this song are the following.

These are the days that can't be erased
Baby, there isn't a better place
You're like heaven
You're like coming home


The Champion by Carrie Underwood (featuring Ludacris)
I can't remember how I found this song, but it became a song my older kids liked to listen to as they woke up in the morning and one they asked to hear when we would drive them to their tennis matches. I love the Olympics, and this song is for the Olympic soundtrack. The music video has such a collage of inspiring moments that I get a little choked up when I see it. I also never in my life imagined there would be a collaboration between Carrie Underwood and Ludacris, so the song is also amazing just for that fact. It's just a great pump up song, and sometimes we all just need to get a little pumped up.


En Feu by Soprano
Okay, it's here. You all knew there would be a song in French. If this song doesn't pump you up, then you may not have a pulse. I wish I related to the fit girl who is running throughout the video, but I'm more like the woman folding her laundry, the man singing while he brushes his teeth, and the parents who wake up to a kid jumping in their bed. And that's all right. This song also references the World Cup, which I love, and Brazil, another favorite. I don't understand almost anything when he starts singing/talking quickly, but here's the chorus: J'suis en feu (j'suis chaud, j'suis chaud, j'suis chaud). It basically means, I'm on fire. I'm hot. I'm hot. I'm hot. Yeah, I can relate to that!


Someday by Milo Manheim and Meg Donnelly
Okay, okay, okay. I confess. I'm a sucker for Disney Channel Original Movies that are musicals, and Zombies was no exception. I watched it with my kids, and then I bought the soundtrack, and it's really fun. I couldn't help put think of parallels to our actual world while watching. It is nowhere near a perfect analogy, but the way the zombies and humans were separated and how the town and school were segregated made me think of times in our not-made-up history when people have forgotten that regardless of how different we look, we are actually both human and should be together. There is no need to separate us; there is no difference that requires segregation. The song is fun and cute, but it also makes me hope that my children's generation will be one step closer to that "someday" just like mine was a little closer than my parents'—someday when couples don't have to look alike to be accepted.

Someday
This could be, this could be ordinary
Someday
Could we be something extraordinary?
You and me side by side (yeah, yeah)
Out in the broad daylight
If they laugh, we'll say
We're gonna be someday

And then, because we can't forget that this actually is a made-up ridiculous story about a town of zombies and humans, these lines always make me chuckle.

Girl, you look deliciousOh, I mean gorgeous
Well, now you're getting fearlessNo, I'm just rooting for us
If different was a super power
We'd be so flawless
Yeah, we could make these two worlds ours
I'm rooting for us


Tout donner (Pilule Violette) by Maître Gims
The lyrics to this song don't really relate to my life, but it is in French and has a nice beat and has been popular since it came out, so hearing it makes me think of our time here in Gabon.


Rewrite the Stars by Zac Efron and Zendaya
As I mentioned above, this is one of the few films I watched here. This song is just beautiful. It is so full of hope. It ties into the idea that I was trying to get across in my description of the Someday song—that desire to tear down these artificial walls we have built between humans.

It's up to you
And it's up to me
No one can say what we get to be
And why don't we rewrite the stars?
Changing the world to be ours


Where Do We Go by Lindsey Stirling (featuring Carah Faye)
Kind of everything about this song hits me like a punch to the gut. It's so raw and relevant to my life. It feels like reading her journal or like she has read my journal. Because sometimes the answer truly is no, and then what do you do with that?? This song doesn't have an official music video, so the link takes you to a fan-made lyric video.

We're sailing
We're sailing, ​aren't we?
It's hard to tell the water from my tears
Don't worry
Have faith they told me
It was easier then in my younger years
Now that I'm older, now that it's colder
Life keeps on crashing
Day after day, like a wave after wave
We did everything right and now I'm asking
Where do we go? oh
When our prayers are answered
Where do we go? oh
When our prayers are answered but the answer is no


Mama Africa by Kids United (featuring Angélique Kidjo and Youssou N'Dour)
If you haven't heard of Kids United, then chances are you are not a kid living in France. They are big time. Ha. My kids really like this group, and all their friends like them as well. This is one of their songs where they sing about Africa, and my kids memorized it for a school assignment, and it brings back many memories to me of my kids singing along with their francophone friends.

C'est là-bas que j'aime aller
Son coeur ne connait pas de frontières
Chez elle on peut danser
Pieds nus en regardant vers la mer
Il y a en elle, dix mille couleurs
Le soleil et la Terre
S’invitent chez elle c’est le bonheur
Chez mama, chez mama Africa
Chez mama, chez mama Africa


Proud Corazón by Anthony Gonzalez
I may be doing the French thing right now, but we all know that Spanish has a special place in my heart. It's my second strongest language. (Sorry, Portuguese, but it's the truth.) Did y'all love Coco as much as I did? My love for my family will live on forever. Also, I love the imagery at the beginning of this song of opening one's mouth and having a song come out and having everyone around know the same song. That truly would be a dream. (I so want to live inside a musical.)

Ay mi familia, oiga mi gente
Canten al coro, let it be known
Our love for each other will live on forever
In every beat of my proud corazón


Stampede by Alexander Jean (featuring Lindsey Stirling)
My family really enjoyed watching Lindsey Stirling and Mark Ballas compete on Dancing with the Stars this past year. I was thrilled when I heard they had collaborated on a song. For some reason, this song makes me feel dueling emotions: it makes me feel fierce like I can take on anything, but at the same time it makes me feel kind of sad. How to describe this? It is akin to feeling like the reason I know I can take on anything is because of my history and how much I have already conquered, but those victories didn't come without losses.


Alors Regarde by Kids United (featuring Patrick Bruel)
This is another song by Kids United, and it makes me laugh for a dumb reason. Dumb, because it wouldn't be funny if I actually spoke French. But I always chuckle at "Alors Regarde," because of the redundancy. See? Super dumb. Not funny to anyone but me. Sorry, not sorry! But it is actually a serious song with an important message. Basically that it is the job of all of us who have the means to speak up for those who can't speak up for themselves, and it shouldn't matter if what we say is unpleasant to those who would rather look the other way. We all need to pay more attention and help those.

Tu dis qu' c'est pas mon rôle de parler de tout ça,
Qu'avant d' prendre la parole il faut aller là -bas.
Alors regarde, regarde un peu.
Je vais pas me taire parce que t'as mal aux yeux.

Alors regarde, regarde un peu.
Tu verras tout c' qu'on peut faire si on est deux.

Dans ma tête une musique vient plaquer ses images
Sur des rythmes d'Afrique mais j' vois pas l' paysage
Toujours ces hommes qui courent, une terre qui recule;
Des appels au secours des enfants qu'on bouscule


Bamboleo by Gipsy Kings
I will confess that this song got added to my playlist not because of its deeper meaning but because of its bouncy beat and lovely Latin-ness. A second confession: I thought Bomboleo was a made-up word like they have in songs sometimes, but my online translator is saying it means wobble. So, now I know a new word in Spanish!


Bella ciao by Naestro (featuring Maître Gims, Vitaa, Dadju, and Slimane)
This one requires a little explaining. This song is in Italian and French. (I do not speak Italian.) I don't remember how I stumbled upon it; I think maybe I was searching for music by Maître Gims, and then I enjoyed this song so much I tried to learn more about it. It is actually an old Italian song. Originally the song was sung by women working in terrible conditions picking rice (I believe?) in Italy. The song talked about the horrible situation they found themselves in. According to wikipedia: "The workers would spend their workdays with their bare feet in water up to their knees and their back bent for many hours." But they had no power to negotiate for better conditions, because time was so desperate at that point that there were many workers available to take their place who would work for less. Later the song became something of a theme for the Anti-Fascists, promoting freedom. I spent the better half of last year reading a book about Italian history, and I also made a friend who is British Italian, and it just felt very appropriate to be listening to a French Italian song this year.


Better When I'm Dancin' by Meghan Trainor
Pretty much all of these lyrics are empowering. This is the song Alice would request to listen to whenever I had her in the car and we were on our way to preschool. Now she's in kindergarten and rides the shuttle, and I find myself listening to this song anyway and missing her. It's a pretty great song. (Gordon always chose the theme song to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.)

Show the world you've got that fire
Feel the rhythm getting louder
Show the room what you can do
Prove to them you got the moves
I don't know about you,
But I feel better when I'm dancing, yeah, yeah


Onde Você Mora? by Cidade Negra
Oh, this song brings back so many memories. It reminds me of living in Brazil as a little American girl and understanding so little at first. This song was popular on the radio (Radio ROCK, anyone?), and whenever it came on, my family and I would listen carefully and try to learn all the words. We taught the song to ourselves, and it become the first song in Portuguese that I memorized. Traffic was crazy in that big city, so we spent a lot of time together in the car, and I just love remembering my family sitting together, singing this song. Oh, how I miss being in the car with my family, singing songs. The actual song is a little song. The man singing doesn't deserve his past flame, but he's pretty sure there will never be another woman in his life like her—her love was unique.

Amor igual ao teu
Eu nunca mais terei
Amor que eu nunca vi igual
Que eu nunca mais verei
Amor que não se pede
Amor que não se mede
Que não se repete

Remember Me (Dúo) by Miguel (featuring Natalia Lafourcade)
This song pulls on all of my heart strings. It makes me emotional thinking of the movie and the love that family had throughout the generations and how much I miss my departed family members. And then the lyrics also make me think of not death but physical distance on earth. I'm so far away. So far away from the people who have loved me for my whole life, and sometimes that is very, very hard.

Remember me
Though I have to say goodbye
Remember me
Don't let it make you cry
For even if I'm far away
I hold you in my heart
I sing a secret song to you
Each night we are apart

Know that I'm with you
The only way that I can be
Until you're in my arms again
Remember me

Unidos en nuestra canción
Contigo ahí estaré
Recuérdame

Recuérdame
Y mi cantar te irá a abrazar
Aun en la distancia
Nunca vayas a olvidar