Longer List of Missing

The past few days, I have had a "long list of missing" bouncing around in my head. I sat down to blog, and I discovered that I have already written a blog post entitled "long list of missing." Apparently that is a phrase I like. That post was after we had moved to Virginia, and I was writing of all the things I missed about living in Cincinnati.

So I guess it isn't too surprising that this post is also about what I miss about living in the United States.

Because sometimes I just do.

We are happy to be here, and it's tropical and beautiful and warm and green.

Yet . . .

I miss walking my kids to school and a commute of five minutes.

I miss public libraries with crafts, story times, and events.

I miss YMCAs with group classes and enrichment classes for young children during the day.

I miss other stay-at-home moms like me. Ones who don't work from home. One who don't have nannies. Ones who don't have housekeepers or drivers. Ones whose little kids aren't in preschool but are at home underfoot. (Please know that I have made really wonderful friends here who do work from home or who do have nannies or who do have their kids in preschool, and they are lovely people, and I enjoy my time with them. I wouldn't trade them, but I also wouldn't mind to add just one friend whose life mirrors mine.)

I miss my young kids having friends who aren't in preschool. I miss playgroup and joy school.

I miss taking my kid to speech therapy with a person face-to-face rather than an online video chat.

I miss a having a large, structured ward.

I miss wall-to-wall carpeting and the ease of vacuuming compared to sweeping and mopping. I miss having only two or three bathrooms. I miss a smaller, reasonably sized home that didn't take so long to clean. I miss a disposal in the kitchen sink. I miss a dishwasher next to my kitchen sink.

I miss.

I miss.

I miss.

That said.

I chose.

And I love.

I love the money we are saving by not paying for preschool or a nanny or a housekeeper or a driver. I love the time I have with my children since I am not working. I love the ocean, the flora, and the fauna. I love learning about new cultures and meeting new people. I really love the view from the window above my kitchen sink.

And I so, so love the communities that have welcomed and included us here:

The US Embassy community, which has been so kind. Jeff was in a car accident last week (more on that in a future post) (Jeff is okay), and the next day four people (four!) offered to drive me around or pick up groceries for me. When Daniel had pneumonia, I had two moms call to see if I needed anything. Before our shipment arrived, they gave me some of their precious American food.

The LDS/Mormon Libreville First Branch family, which has looked past my faltering language abilities and physical differences to welcome me. They have shared their food with me. They have allowed me to teach their children. They have given me fabric and made me African clothes. They have bartered for me at the market, so I don't have to pay "the white person tax." They have cheered me on.

The Ecole Ruban Vert community, which has shown delight to have me join their ranks. Teachers promptly respond to my emails and address my concerns. Parents allow their children to come my home for playdates and invite my kids to theirs. Friends invite me to join other groups like Latinas en Libreville, International Women Libreville, and Expat Happy Hour.

So, I miss, and I love. I complain, yet I am full of gratitude for what and who is here. And I think I'll probably keep on doing both of those for my whole life.

I guess I just miss feeling normal—blending in. But maybe I always would?

Here is something the littles like to do when they're at home.



And here is some of what the bigs do at school.