Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Long List of Missing

Sometimes I feel like life is just a long list of people I miss. I imagine that feeling is inescapable, because even if you never move, other people will move away from you, and then you still end up having people to miss.

I really like Virginia, but it's not comfortable yet. It's still all new and exciting. And I miss comfortable. I miss friends who already knew me. So I could joke around and laugh instead of make the joke and then apologize because I realize I don't really know them that well and I worry that perhaps they don't think jokes like that are funny.

It makes me sad to realize that none of my kids will remember living in Cincinnati. They are so young, and Danny may have already forgotten it. Jill still talks about it sometimes, but that will fade with time.

I wish I had more pictures of my friends. I look through my pictures, and they are almost all of my kids and my kids' friends.

I miss my library and one specific children's librarian who was amazing.

I miss friends who would do things like buy me Gatorade when I was sick or pick up groceries for me when I was busy and let me write them a check later or just come over and talk to me while I did my dishes or help me eat my leftovers so I didn't have to feel guilty about throwing so much away.

I miss already knowing who I trusted to babysit my children.

I miss grocery stores where I know which aisle to go in to find the tricky items, like pimentos, frozen ravioli, and barley.

I miss having in-laws just ten minutes away who always loved to see my children and always had dinner on the table.

I miss the YMCA with its great programs and the women working there who knew my children's names.

I miss knowing where everything was. I miss knowing where the parks are that have baby swings and which parks have mulch or grass or sand or rubber.

I miss sitting in Relief Society and knowing the face and some of the story of every woman in the room.

I miss familiar.

I miss comfortable.

I miss my old home.

7 comments:

  1. I miss you!
    You are blessed that you have so much to miss.

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  2. Mom is so right and although I love the memories of all the places and all the faces that fill my memories; you have hit on the reason every time we moved I would promise myself, this is the last time! that we will not move again; as I write I still want roots and those things you described.

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  3. Sometimes I think about all the people I love and how I only get to see a fraction of those people on a regular basis. And sometimes I think how it almost hurts how much I miss those people. I used to play this game in my head where I would imagine myself coming across a genie in a lamp. And he would tell me I had 1 wish. Not 3 but one. My wish would always be to have all of the people I love close by. And i marveled at how great that would be, but also thinking that that wish would never be a reality. Then it occurred to me one day that that is probably what heaven is like. We get to spend the rest of eternity with those that matter the most to us. Yay!!

    That was a totally random thought. Sorry about that, haha!

    I am sure you will get comfortable in no time. :)

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  4. Yeah, I'm still looking for those things you've described, and we've lived here almost as long as you lived there! I hope I can come to learn those things about the people and the place I live. Remember there is the positive to moving as well though, the broader life view that you have, the ability to make yourself a place wherever you are - learning that home is where you are with the people you love, not in a certain building or street, because even that can be gone suddenly, you know?

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  5. You said it so well Mimi...I miss our Eastgate family the most, Sundays are the hardest day of the week, but hopefully the day will come where I will enjoy and love my new ward family.

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  6. Guess what? We miss you guys to. I attended 7 different schools growing up and I hated it. I didn't want that for my children and am thankful we didn't have to move around. We did miss out on getting to know the boys cousins being so far away from Utah. You will adjust. You are already making new friends and the children will too. Love you guys!!

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