Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Family Updates and Spousal Needs

Let's see . . . life is moving forward as it should. Jill passed the 18 month mark, and it really has been amazing to watch her turn from a baby to a toddler. I really love how many more words she can say now, and it melts my heart to hear her say Mommy and Daddy.

I can no longer decide whether she is just a blonde or still a strawberry blonde. Her hair almost seems to fluctuate daily.

She recently has had trouble sleeping. She and I were up last night from 11:30 (she went to bed around 8:00) to 3:00. Sigh. I finally caved and just gave her a bottle. She was asleep within half an hour.

I would really like to potty train her before Daniel Wells makes his appearance. Do you have any tips on how you potty trained your children? How you were potty trained? How your neighbor/sister/coworker potty trained his/her kids? I would love to hear any stories you have to share. The more information the better!
Yup, there I am with my belly. I am now in the last trimester of this pregnancy, and I really find it hard to believe. I am still exercising, but it is starting to feel different than it did a month ago, even a week ago. I can really feel the difference in my joints. I don't remember what the hormone is, but I remember reading in my baby book during my first pregnancy that the ligaments start loosening up and I think that the hormone is affecting my whole body, because my ankles and knees are starting to feel really weird. I am interested to see how long I can keep it up. Right now I'm alternating between jogging/running and Zumba. Perhaps I'll switch to swimming if need be, Oh well, however long I keep it up, I figure it can only help matters. All I am hoping for is no pre-eclampsia, no forceps, and no tearing. I really don't think that is too much to hope for. 

In other pregnancy news, I can also tell I'm near the end, because bending over is that much harder and the heartburn/acid reflux has begun. Oh yay!
My handsome hubby had his birthday last week. Jill took this picture of him on his birthday. Aren't you impressed? I thought she did a great job! Despite the 70 degree weather we enjoyed today, I think the temperature peaked around 43 degrees on his actual birthday. He and his brother Kyle did not let that daunt them though—they still went out to play 18 holes of birthday golf. They were very cold when they finished.

Next week marks his first anniversary with his current company; we feel so blessed that he has this job!

Family news aside, I receive many e-mails from various groups with differing opinions. This was made obvious after election day when I received e-mails the next few days heralding the triumphs and disappointments of the day. It was funny to realize that I was on separate mailing lists for Republicans and Democrats. Well, it's good to hear both sides. I also receive e-mail newsletters about my pregnancy, toddler development, and families. In the different family newsletters, there are often articles about marriage, and the most recent one interested me. It was about avoiding or ending affairs and included this paragraph:

"In His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage, Dr. Willard Harley says marriages most susceptible to infidelity are those where a spouse fails to meet their partners' primary needs. Wives' needs are affection, conversation, honesty and openness, financial, and family commitment. Husbands' primary needs are sexual fulfillment, recreational companionship, an attractive spouse, domestic support, and admiration."

What do you think about what is listed above as the primary needs of wives and husbands? It was interesting for me to read them laid out in such a manner and to consider what I believed my and Jeff's primary needs to be. I think it is really important to acknowledge what your needs and your spouse's needs are, so you can recognize whether you are meeting them and whether yours are being met. Anyway, if you and your spouse ever have the conversation lag anytime soon, you could bring that paragraph up and see how you agree and disagree for yourselves personally. If you have anything to share about it, please do. I am interested in your comments on it.

I'd say I definitely need everything that Dr. Harley said wives need. I am trying to think of something else I might need, but those are so general that they really seem to encompass everything I think of.

And if you're curious what my most recent pregnancy newsletter contained, among other facts it shared that Daniel Wells weighs approximately as much as a head of cauliflower. Last week, he was approximately as long as an English hothouse cucumber. :)


  1. Potty Training-
    I potty-trained Brooklyn around 22 months. I did the whole, stay home for three days and get it over with thing, which, if you're trying to potty-train before baby #2, is probably the only way to go. I basically put the little potty in front of the tv, let her drink lots of juice, watch a few shows, and sit on the potty a lot. I didn't want to give her treats, but I quickly found out that we wouldn't get anywhere without them. I would suggest just doing 1 m&m or something small each time she has a success - you can supplement with stickers and a big "prize" at the end of the day if she has had no accidents or whatever. The first day Brookie had 8 accidents, but by day 3, she was pretty much potty trained. Of course she has accidents here and there, but 6 months later, she sleeps through her naps and through a 12 hour night without going in her pull-up (I've kept her in them just in case, but I think we're almost done with that). She has only had one or two accidents this month, and it's usually when there isn't a potty close by. One thing that really helped was when she saw her older friends go potty (boys or girls). It really motivated her. Anyway, good luck! It's a fun time!

  2. 1. I can't believe Jill is that old already. Wow.

    2. You and your pregnant belly are ridiculously cute. I'm also hoping for a smooth end to the pregnancy for you. I think your hopes are entirely reasonable. I'd demand them, if I were you.

    3. Jill is an excellent photographer. I'm filled with admiration.

    4. I think Dr. Harley is remarkable blasé in his definition, since Sam likes conversation a lot more than I do. Then again, I realize I'm not exactly a typical example of femininity.

    5. I'm excited about your little Daniel Wells. Hopefully I'll get to meet him in person some time. You know, before I'm eighty or whatever.

  3. My advice on potty training is to wait til they're ready. I've heard of girls 18months being potty trained, so you do have a shot, however if she's not ready it will draw the process out even longer. I personally had no problem diapering two kids at the same time. It was much easier to keep them both in diapers than to deal with accidents and "i need to go potty's". You've got three months, good luck, it's a fun ride.

  4. That hormone is called relaxin. I learned to hate it during my pregnancy with Gideon, because it gave me Pubic Symphysis Dysfunction.

    Good luck potty training Jill. Benji still isn't trained. I'm thinking I need to move to the bribing with stickers and candy stage! :D

  5. Dear Mimi, Thanks for the pictures and news. About "potty training". I don't know how large you plan to make your family, but I am certain that you will be surprised with each new addition. We quit with six. One potty trained by two years, one nearly trained by six years. The others in between. About the"sleeping". I'm 86 years old, and I still need a glass of milk to relax me enough to go to sleep. Calcium has a calming effect on the nerves, "Give that sweet girl some milk, so you can both get a little rest!" Now, about Dr. Harley's theories. If he studied long enough to get a PhD, he surely learned something. Give it a try, what can you lose by trying to guess what each other likes (needs). Maybe he can help. He sounds pretty close to me. But, experiment with each other a bit, try to discover something he, she, (we) like, that the good doctor never thought to explore. Keep it fun for both. One person's joy is not worth the cost of another person's pain. Talk to each other a lot. (About everything.) Love, grandpa H.

  6. rachele sets a timer for every 30 minutes then sits them on the potty.
    angie uses bribery- their fave candy when they go.
    my friend tracy in cherry grove ward tells them, shows them, puts panties on them, then goes through accident after accident til they get sick of it.
    my aunt kathryn sent them on a camping trip with their dad who made them (boys though) pee on a tree and she swears thats what did it for all 3.
    i try all of them. one at a time. eventually they get it :)
    having 2 in diapers was horrible. and expensive. i think that is the main reason why i had such a hard transition between 2 and 3.
    you look great!

  7. and the spouse thing- sorry i knew i would forget what i was going to say if i read the whole thing at once- i think the most surprising thing is that the wife needs to be attractive. whoulda thought. i guess i feel like you'd get over that eventually. interesting.

  8. Well, they are generalizations. :) It can't be true for everyone. But yeah, I found them interesting.

  9. What I really want to know after reading this is how much longer (or shorter?) is an English Hothouse cucumber than your average grocery store cucumber?

    I keep meaning to talk to Devin about the needs thing, but I always think of it like, when we're in the car driving somewhere or in the dairy aisle of the grocery store... so I'm going to just have to write the quote down and carry it around in my pocket for next time I remember!

    Jill as always, melts my heart.

  10. Hi Mimi,

    I loved looking through your blog and catching up a bit with your cute family through some of your posts. Jeff sent a link this week in his reply to one of the many random emails that went out from Rick's account on account of a rather annoying virus. But enough of that.

    Jill is a doll! She's just adorable. And we were excited to hear that you have another little one who will soon be joining the family. Congratulations! Daniel Wells - I like that! (You look great, by the way.)

    Tell Jeff hello for us and thank him for the note. :)

    Happy Thanksgiving!

    Love, Juliana


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