What I didn't expect about motherhood

I am often asked by my single and/or childless friends what I did not expect about being a mother. Here is a list of some of them. Some of them I had an inkling would occur, but I didn't really understand it until it happened.

• The necessity of sweeping the kitchen after every time Jill eats pretty much anything. If you are lax in this, even by just the time from breakfast to lunch, the ants will find the crumbs, and they will take over. (I actually even dreamt about giant ants last night.) (Luckily, our ants go away as soon as the food is gone, so that is a blessing.)
• The difficulty of a shower. Jill cries the whole time I am in the shower. If she is outside of the bathroom, she will just cry and cry and destroy anything she can get her hands on. If she is in the bathroom, she will cry and destroy anything she can get her hands on and try to get in the shower with me. If we take a bath together, I just never feel like I get as clean. And sometimes she thinks it's an all-you-can-drink buffet. Sigh. I like to shower when Jeff is home.
• The amount of dirty diapers babies go through. I hadn't really comprehended how many diapers there would be to change and how important diaper cream is.
• The lack of sleep. Two nights ago, Jeff and I kept Jill up two hours past her bedtime. She was cheerful and handled it well. Until she went to sleep. Then she got me back by waking up every two hours for the whole night. Every two hours, like clock work. Granted, she is usually a lot better now, it is usually only once a night, sometimes twice, sometimes never, but when she was an infant, there was very little sleeping happening for me.
• The fact that almost everyone loves babies and toddlers. I have never had so many strangers speak to me until I had a baby. Actually, they don't speak to me. They speak to Jill. Sometimes when I respond, they actually don't respond to me, but keep smiling at/laughing at/speaking to Jill. Awkward.
• The self-centeredness of a child. Her world revolves around her right now. Period. End of story. I have no needs, no role other than serving her needs. She is also not very patient. I hope I do a good job of teaching her patience and that the world does not actually revolve around her.
• The importance of planning your schedule around the baby or toddler. I know I just said that the world does not revolve around her, haha, but my world does. Food, sleep, drinking, etc. all need to happen when Jill feels the need for them. Otherwise her world and my world are not very pleasant.
• The all encompassing desire to make her smile or laugh. There is nothing more rewarding than seeing joy shown through her face.