Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Always Another Fault

"It is in the home that our behavior is most significant. It is the place where our actions have the greatest impact, for good or ill. Sometimes we are so much at home that we no longer guard our words. We forget simple civility. If we are not on guard, we can fall into the habit of criticizing one another, losing our tempers, or behaving selfishly. Because they love us, our spouses and children may be quick to forgive, but they often carry away in silence unseen injuries and unspoken heartache... When we feel anger or contention in our homes, we should immediately recognize what power has taken control of our lives and what Satan is endeavoring to accomplish. Solomon provided us this wise formula: 'A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger' (Prov. 15:1). Our home should ideally be a refuge where each member feels safe, secure, loved, and insulated from harsh criticism and contention that we so often encounter in the world."
—Elder Wayne S. Peterson, "Our Actions Determine Our Character," Ensign, Nov. 2001, 84

It is sad but true that those we love are often those we treat the worst. It can be so hard to learn to guard your tongue.

It's funny; I used to have a massive temper. For the past two years, I've worked on my temper, learning to control it, because I knew that children and tempers did not mix. Now, I've pretty much got that in hand, and I have a new bad habit to replace it.

Now, I'm all defensive and touchy. It's so embarrassing. I don't know why, but my new thing is to always assume that everyone is attacking me when no one really is. I keep reading everything to be the worst possible. :(

I don't even know how it's possible. How can I be someone who consistently looks for the best in others and gives them the benefit of the doubt, but whenever someone says something to me, I think they mean it in the most offensive way possible, and I defend myself. This could be my latent anger maybe, or it could mean that I think the worst things about myself, so I assume that others are saying them too.

Sigh.

Whenever we concur one fault there is always another one waiting to erupt. At least that's how it feels for me. I'll keep trudging forward though, fully knowing that some day, one day, I will be perfect. I'll be dead first, haha, but I'll be perfect!

1 comment:

  1. Remember that pregnancy hormones can have a HUGE part in your emotions. Poor Chaelomen, he married a psycho, lol. But things are finally getting back to normal the last few months. I don't have emotional breakdowns nearly as often anymore! :)

    Just keep telling yourself that it's worth it because it IS.

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