So . . . at work . . . this girl's Doritos got stuck in the vending machine. She was banging it, and they wouldn't fall, so I thought to myself, I can help her. I've gotten many a stuck food item out of BYU vending machines. I'd just go give it the old what-for. So yeah. I walked over and jumped against it.
I jumped against the front, and it was glass not plastic, and it shattered everywhere. I fell inside the vending machine, and my arm has cuts from my shoulder to my elbow. It looks like I lost a fight with a cat, and I have a huge, huge bruise on my thigh complete with more cuts.
I had tiny shards of glass all over my clothes, skin, face, and hair. HR took me home to shower and go to the doctor. I looked pretty gruesome with blood coming out of all the tiny cuts on my arm.
Oh my. Why do I do things like this?