Sunday, January 29, 2006


i am disgruntled.

i think.

so dreams. do they mean anything? should they be taken seriously?

are they just parts of thoughts your brain takes from every single section of your brain and mashes together into a bogus storyline or are they actually important and saying something subconsciously about us like all of that freud stuff.

so jeffrey keeps having dreams in which he and i get married.
i keep having dreams that he either leaves me or breaks up with me.

and it is serious leaving like in the last dream that he left, he just ran away from me in the jungles of the congo.

in the last dream where he broke up with me, he dumped me on a stage during a candlelit dinner that was apparently really set up for a different girl, to whom he was already engaged. he had just kept hoping i would figure it out on my own and leave him and he wouldn't have to dump me. then his mom stood up in the audience and said i can't believe you actually thought he was going to marry you. then i looked at all of the people sitting in the audience watching and i was so embarrassed and it was just magnified when i thought about all of the people that i had to call to tell them that it was over between jeffrey and i. it was an absolutely horribly feeling. i couldn't even move out of her seat at the nice dinner. eric boyce had to come up on stage and carry me. i started bawling my eyes out. when i woke up i still felt the horrible feeling. it was 3:30 a.m. but it took me forever to fall back asleep because i couldn't get that horrible dream out of my head.

why does jeffrey get to dream about what he wants to happen and i have to dream about when i'm afraid of?
or maybe he's dreaming about marriage because he's afraid of it.

dreams schmeams.

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