Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Old meets New

So Danzy came over to get Jeff's old, old laptop that we were giving him. He and Jeff got along great. It was weird to feel almost like a stranger and a best friend at the same time. I got a tiny bit angry at him when he and Jeff were teasing me about dance classes. Danzy said, "Aww, you were trying to get married if you took dance. You probably took marriage prep, too." I wanted to scream, "No, you fool! I wanted you—not to get married right away." I didn't feel like it was appropriate though, since I am married now and ultimately picked Jeff. There were so many emotions running through me as I sat between two of the loves of my life: the one, my eternal choice and partner of my heart, and the other, a love from youth, both sitting my living room. 

I don't feel bad for myself, because I have Jeff. I am the lucky one. I feel bad for Danzy. He has no one. He rarely sees his roommates; he has no super close friends; he only got to see his family for two days after a two-year absence. And now, other than the Spirit, he is alone. I think of how different I could have made his life, and I feel bad. However, I have faith that some day, he will meet someone who will grab hold of his heart, and he will be so happy that he will thank me for moving on over him. He will know the happiness that I know with Jeff.

I hope Nate finds that, too. I watched devotional today with Suzy, Nate, and Brett. I felt so awkward the whole time because of the vibes coming off of Nate. He can't get over that I'm married and how weird that is to him.

With Danzy, however, it was not awkward. It was a little sad and a little resigned. It made me a little sad to know I can't be his close friend. However, that is a small price to pay compared to the amazing things I get to experience with jeff.

I wonder if I should set Suzy and Danzy up on a blind date. They are both wonderful and like biology. :) I need to think of a couple for them to double with . . .

No comments:

Post a Comment

What's on your mind?