Tuesday, June 28, 2005

I loved you, Jacob

So, I'm at Institute, and it's held in Mt. Desert Island HS. I go to the bathroom and one door says "Boys Restroom" and the other says "Girls." I love that we are smart enough to know that a door with a gender on it is a bathroom. :) So, I'm looking in the mirror, and I look up and see this huge sign: "You're looking at someone that could get AIDS." Ah! Not a surprise that I was expecting. Then in smaller words, I read "Abstinence is the only way to be 100% safe, but condoms and spermicide do reduce the risk." I don't even know what a spermicide is. Horrible. Ah! High schools should teach only abstinence.

I was sitting in institute learning about the types of revelation when I was struck with the feeling that I should break up with Jacob. I can't handle the distance, and I don't want to be a distraction. His focus should be his mission, testimony, and spirituality—not me. Whenever I pray about it, I feel peace, and I know I'm making the right decision. It just really hurts the rest of me, because I really like him. I have to do it though. I'm still not ready for be in a relationship. I'm not a person worthy of guys like him yet.

I got so much Happy Birthday mail yesterday. It was wonderful. Both of my brothers remembered. Danzy sent me the nicest card, "I am also grateful for you, Michelle. Your letters always seem to come at the right time and say the right things. In addition, seeing your name on an envelope brings a smile to my face every time, just because it's you."

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