"i used to have a secret admirer, in second grade. he always signed it "love your secret admirer, and then his name"
"oh did you ever find out who he was?"
"stop making nazi jokes. it offends the germans"
"why would the germans care?"
"i really like your belt! it freakin' has your name on it!"
"yeah... my dad got it made for me in some third world country"
my friends are brilliantly funny.
gotta love me.