Saturday, October 30, 2004

one month anniversay!!!!!!!

hey today marks the one month anniversary of having a blog. my blog site has been looked at 400 times. i would like to thank viewers like you who made that possible.
lol. okay i'll admit it. when i first got a blog i would click on it and re-read what i had written just to make the numbers go up... but after that seriously it's all you guys
i love you guys
man i'm getting a little teary eyed here
i totally feel the love

okay. so i'm jamming out to michael jackson right now. the funny part is that i'm listening to it on my head phones so i'm just chillin' with my iBook and completely jamming.
it's an interesting visual.
i mean it must be or this many people wouldn't be staring at me. i like to do this in the library and seriously you draw looks when you're dancing sitting down to music that no one else can hear but i figure i don't have a boyfriend to embarass so i might as well please myself right? and myself is pleased by jamming
now i'm feeling the love with myself awww okay man you can tell it's the end of a really seriously long week because i'm starting to get a little weird.
okay i love everyone

may everyone have a visit from the Great Pumpkin (go read a Peanuts comic strip if you don't know what I'm talking about)
and for all of you peeps just keep waiting...decemberween will come eventually

i'm still wondering what happened to the goat in the black and white old school version of the hunchback of notre dame.
that director was amazing though. they made you think quasimodo was a monster, then they made you love him, then they turned him into a monster again but you love him now so you're all conflicted so you're like well he's not a monster because he was killing all of those people for the right reasons and then you wonder i mean is murder ever right? and then you're thinking even if it was wrong for him to murder all of those people can we really count a mentally handicapped person responsible or should we just pity him and realize that if he thinks you're going to hurt esmerelda he may kill you too? okay too much thinking whatever it's friday!!!!!!!!!!!

"i don't have to be me till monday" -emerson drive. great country song.

turkey vultures? anyone know what they are?

Friday, October 29, 2004

hunchback of notre dame

so yeah i went to the library movie archives thing with robbie to watch the movie and let me tell you what... you'll go through a range of emotions

i only have one question after watching it...
so what happened to the goat?

no seriously, it blows my mind the way that things used to happen and i can only imagine what people in a hundred years are going to be saying about us now.

i guess in retrospect i enjoyed it. i mean it made me think so you've got to love something that makes me do that.

my first bio multiple choice test was a 53% (65% with the essay portion added in) and i decided that that was not cutting it for me. so i studied longer and got a 73% this time. wahoo! i can't wait until my essay portion is added in. the sky's the limit. how exciting.

so... yeah that was a good feeling.

thanks for the call jacob nicholas! sorry i missed it.
robbie thanks for going to the movie with me!

shout out to jacob jackson: i hope you're having a good day!

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

interesting facts

so i really am learning so much in my classes... i love it.
here are some interesting facts i learned in my human development class. it's so cool right now because my human development class and my general psychology class are both talking about adolescence so i get to hear it from two different teachers, with their different viewpoints, and of course the two different textbooks are interesting too.
anyway here they are

this was a study done by robin gilmour in 1988. some of these answers might seem weird to you like "i look for a man that has good abstract reasoning" but they're accumulative. she added what different people said and put them in the top ten categories, like she would put "hott" "cute" "pretty" "sexy" "beautiful" into "physically attractive" catch my drift? okay before you read these quickly think about what five or ten characteristics you want in your future partner, or current partner for some, or what you think your partner would like in you...

okay women on average look for these desirable qualities in their men:
1. a record of achievement
2. leadership qualities
3. skills at his job
4. earning potential
5. sense of humor
6. intellectual ability
7. attentiveness
8. common sense
9. athletic ability
10. good abstract reasoning

so we're thinking hmm women can be kind of shallow... then we see what the research brought up for the average man looking for desirable qualities in a woman:
1. physical attractiveness
2. ability in bed
3. warmth and affection
4. social skill
5. homemaking ability
6. dress sense
7. sensitivity to others' needs
8. good taste
9. moral perception
10. artistic creativity

i think it's funny that the guys threw "moral perception" there at the end.
so yeah these are just interesting facts to think about

a research done in 1979 by hill, rubin, and peplau discovered three more interesting facts:

*women are more likely to end the relationship
*rejected men tend to be lonelier, unhappier, and more depressed than rejected women
*rejected men find it harder than rejected women to accept the end of the relationship and manage to stay friends

and the third interesting fact of the day...
we were learning about rites of passage in traditional cultures, like boys becoming men and girls becoming women
in kenya, some tribes have boys become men in an interesting way
boys aren't circumsized until they are sixteen years old and are given nothing to dull the pain
they are men if they bear it without making noise or indicating any pain or discomfort
it is then known about town how the boy (now man) was able to handle it...

yeah and i thought our dating rituals were painful.
that rite of passage definitely takes the cake
sorry boys...

so yeah think about these. wonder why rejected men get more depressed and women end relationships more... i mean would you have guessed that?
did the average qualities match up with yours?
it's just food for thought...

response papers

so we have to do all of these papers for pysch and it really is like "enough already"
but our most recent one was actually pretty interesting.
we got to interview our parents and grandparents about our parent's and our childhoods. then we were supposed to compare and contrast their childhoods with ours and then make a stance on the nature versus nurture debate. i have learned some very interesting things about my parents and about how they viewed me as a tot.
you should ask your parents and grandparents some questions. you'd be surprised what you find out.

Monday, October 25, 2004

rain rain

...go away?

yeah so it has been raining so much out here! it has been raining every day since last monday.
okay that might not sound that amazing to some of my indiana friends, where during certain parts of the year it rains all the time and floods, but peeps
i'm in utah
we are in our fifth year of a drought out here
see i thought in droughts you like preserve water and stuff but people are using their sprinklers and not limiting showers or anything. anyone see "a cinderella story" with hilary duff? yeah i thought droughts were like that
but here is just means that it's really dry and we're still using water even though we don't really have it and every summer there are more and more parts of the lakes that are too shallow for us to water ski in.
so yeah and it's a desert here. who knew. it's like antarctica, it's a desert but there is snow which is water so you're thinking how is it a desert? it just means it gets a lot less rainfall
the fact that it has rained every day for the past week is
to say the least. :)
and it's wet
and i ride a bus and walk every where
so yeah i keep getting wet.
that was pretty much what this whole rant was leading up to...
i'm getting wet a lot.
okay yeah then
have a great day :)

Saturday, October 23, 2004


"Wouldn't life be perfect if...
sweatpants were sexy,
Monday mornings were fun,
junk food didn't make you fat,
girls didn't cause drama,
boys weren't so confusing,
nothing was regrettable,
you didn't have to lose the people you love,
friendships didn't fade,
and goodbye only meant til tomorrow..."
-Stolen from Teresa who stole it from Kara

Fall in love? I'd rather fall into chocolate.

Wait for the boy who pursues you, the one who will make an ordinary moment seem magical, the kind of boy who brings out the best in you and makes you want to be a better person, wait for the boy who will be your best friend, the person who will drop everything to be with you, wait for the boy who makes you smile like no other boy makes you smile and when he smiles you know he needs you, wait for the boy who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats and have no makeup on, but appreciates it when you get all dolled up for him, wait for the boy that won't give up on you..when the rest of the world has..wait for this boy... Stolen from Bri

everyone knows they're in love, by the way they dance... Stolen from Amy

I love you Courtney. Thanks for calling Stephen.

Friday, October 22, 2004

school bleahs

i need a fall break or something.
we get less vacation than a hamster out here
well theoretically that can't be true. you can look at it two ways
either a hamster's entire life is a vacation because it doesn't have to do anything except sleep eat and other bodily functions and maybe run around a wheel if it gets bored or you can look at it in the other way and the hamster gets absolutely no vacation. it never gets a day off from being a hamster. it never gets to fly or lie out on a beach or jump through trees like a monkey. so yeah either way i lied.
but seriously peeps
two weeks for christmas?
no fall break?
no spring break?
thank goodness we get wednesday thursday and friday for thanksgiving, but that's in forever and we haven't had any vk since labor day. brutal people i'm telling you.
now of course you're telling me that i picked this college.
okay back off. i did it's true
and i will be grateful when my school ends the third week of april and i don't have to start school again until the first week of september. okay that's nice.
but still people gente
i am so sick of reading assignments exams essays papers the whole ball of wax. and i'm one of the weirdo kids that like school.
okay i need to stop whining and just go do my homework.
and stop skipping social things that i'm supposed to go to. i need to stop doing that.

oh yeah there is something i can't skip that right now i want to. my roommate's fiancee set me up on a blind date with one of his friends. some guy named peter that i've never met in my life. so totally blind. this could be exciting right? i've never gone on a blind date before...
yeeeeea i'll keep ya posted on that one. 8)

Thursday, October 21, 2004


i seriously feel loved.
shout outs go to c work, stevo, and bri gurl
i love the emails and phone calls.
i miss you guys so much. i can't wait until christmas break.
i am so sad that i can't be home for thanksgiving.
i really want to see everyone again, but i guess that happens.

so yeah i feel loved by my friends, but i'm still seriously not feeling loved by one specific person. i guess it's okay since i don't have someone in mind for that specific person. there are so many amazing people here. i haven't honestly met someone that i don't like. i think that's because i don't live in a dorm though so i have a high control over who i see. i have crushes on seriously like ten guys. well not full fledged crushes, but everyone is just so cool!
so yeah i'm abounding in happiness right now

Wednesday, October 20, 2004


so... i locked myself out of my house yesterday. there are five people that have keys to my house.
1. me
2. my roommate sarah
3. her fiancee jeff
4. my roommate melissa
5. her best friend who is not her boyfriend kyle

jeff and melissa were both at work
kyle and sarah were both in class

let me add that yesterday was the first day it got really cold. it rained and the top half of the mountains are covered in snow.
so yeah cold.
so sarah got done with her classes two hours after me but it was too cold to just sit on the porch because unfortunately all of my friends live on campus, not close enough for me to just go to and sit and wait.
so i started walking.
i walked all the way from my house to 900 South in OREM. it took me about an hour and a half. kyle found out and drove by and picked me up.
by then i was in a rush to make it to my next class. he fed me let me in to my house. by then i had missed my bus to class so he drove me. i was in such a rush when i switched my books from my morning classes to my afternoon classes that i still DIDN'T REMEMBER TO PUT MY KEY IN MY BACKPACK.
i'm an idiot.
i did however remember this time to grab a coat, scarf, gloves, and mittens.
luckily sarah and jeff were home when i got there that time so no more being locked out.

but yeah i have to go get ready to go to a emerson drive concert! yip yip I hope they play "I don't have to be me" and "I should be sleepin'" I really like those two songs. in fact i think they're the only songs of theirs that i know... :) love ya! smooches!

Monday, October 18, 2004


okay so sarah went to salt lake city to go to a missionary homecoming for one of her fiancee's old companions and it ended up being john bytheway's home ward and they sat right behind him in sacrament meeting.
melissa got scheduled to work.
so i needed a ride. my home teachers were able to take me and since they took me they offered to let me sit by them so i did.
it ended up being the sunday where instead of sunday school, relief society, and priesthood we have a two hour long chastity, morality, dating, and marriage talk.
i really would have prefered to be sitting next to my roomies for that one, but hey i know my home teachers a little bit better now. they're hilarious.
i met my visiting teachers today. ambrosia from hawaii and leigh from colorado. they're really nice. leigh and i are actually both on the enrichment meeting committee so i already knew her a little.
i wish i knew more people in my ward. i just don't know how to join their apartment complex friendships. they're all tight with the people that live near them. and i don't. i mean i have friends out here, but it would be nice to have more at church. i'll work on it... :)

Sunday, October 17, 2004


why do people feel the need to ruin things?
you know in the movie mean girls where gretchen calls the blonde ditz plastic who's name starts with a k and asks her if she would want to know if someone said something bad about her and the other girl said no and then gretchen said well what if it was someone close to you and the other girl still says no?
well why did gretchen still have to tell her?
if they don't want to know then don't say it.
just don't talk about other people.
i am so sick of one of my friends telling me something and then another friend telling me something else and then me having to decide which friend i trust more and what the truth is and then having to deal with the fact that one of my friends is lying to me.

i hate lies. they're evil and they ruin people and relationships.

Friday, October 15, 2004

homosexuality and abortion

man. i am so confused. i always assumed that i would just vote for bush because i liked him, but i've been reading some stuff online and i realize that i don't really know anything about anything.
everyone is pushing people to vote but should i vote if i'm not an educated voter?
which would be worse?
i've always considered myself pro-life and against homosexual marriages. now i am wondering. after wading through a lot of reading on political views i'm not so sure about how i feel. i personally am not homosexual and i don't think that they should be able to get married, but just because i think that doesn't mean that everyone should be forced to think the way i think. it never occurred to me to think of it that way before.
i have friends that are homosexual and i love them but i hate seeing what being homosexual does to them. i don't think it's a happy, natural way to live. i love them but not what they're doing, and if someone thinks that's not possible, let me assure them that they're wrong, i mean it's just like loving a person but hating the ugly shirt they're wearing.
so i think that marriage should be between a man and a woman but i've decided that i don't think that my beliefs should be forced on others.
above all i think that we should have agency up until the point that we infringe upon someone else's agency in a way that could have been avoided.
i would then say that i think i've decided that gays and lesbians and bisexuals should be able to decide whom they want to marry, but they should not be allowed to adopt children.
all children should have the chance at having a mother and a father. i realize that many children are raised by a single "straight" parent, so you argue where is the mother and father there, but that is less avoidable. i'm not going to take someone's child away because their husband was abusive or their wife died. children should have the chance though, the opportunity and if they're adopted by two men or two women then they never have the chance. their agency is being taken away in a way that is avoidable.
now on abortion. i am pro-choice in the meaning that the choice should happen when the parents are having sex, not after the women is pregnant. the choice happens much before the pregnancy. if people are going to have sex then they should know that a very common consequence of that action is a child. they should not then be allowed to abort the child if it doesn't fit in their master plan. there are however occassions when abortions should be allowed, some rape cases for example, there was no choice there on the mother's part. none whatsoever. or if the mother and father want the child but it is so deformed that it will die shortly after birth and maybe hurt the mother during the birth, little chance things like that should be open for the mother and father to decide whether or not to have an abortion. people should be allowed to have the choice.
choices. freedom to make choices. that is what our country is built upon. if we take away the freedom to marry the person we love, will the freedom of following the religion we love be next?
of course i don't think murderers and the such should be allowed choice to do their evil deeds, because of course their agency should end when it infringes upon someone else's in a detrimental way. so there do need to be laws. for without laws there are no consequences. without consequences there are no incentives for doing wrong or right. with no reasons to do evil or good, evil and good cease to exist because there is no distinction between them.
what touchy subjects are being debated during this election.
i haven't even begun to touch the war subject.

on a happier note... i was able to talk to some friends from back home and that pretty much made my day. i only got to leave messages for bri and ems but c and chelle were able to talk to me. i love you girls!

Thursday, October 14, 2004


so amy's gone. *sniff*
it was wonderful being able to see my sister and Al. and of course, Anna and John came down for saturday and sunday too so that was great. i got to see a lot of people that i haven't seen in a while, some people as long as four years. that's the kind of cool thing about byu, all of the mormons i have known at some point from birth all eventually end up here. so then i get to see them again and be like "omg i was named after your mom" or "hey! i haven't seen you since i was five!" cool random things like that.
there were a few downsides to having amy and al here. it reminded me of all of the other people that i don't get to see anymore - those people being all of my wonderful amazing talented beautiful muncie friends. also i usually try to get to bed between 9 and 10:30 but amy is one of those college students that go to bed between like 1 and 2 a.m. (i think i'm the weirder college student) so i got less sleep, because where she and al slept was above my bedroom so i could hear them while i was trying to call asleep, also i didn't get much homework done because she was here and i was busy doing things with her.
i'm glad that i was able to spend time with her. :) and everyone else that i was able to see this weekend.
it was a nice weekend, if somewhat long

oh yeah other great news. i took my second psych exam yesterday. my first one i got a 54 and this time i got a 69! i am so close to getting a C. i only studied one additional hour too, so i think that if i study even more next time maybe i'll do even better... now that may sound obvious to most people but honestly some classes i can study for one hour or ten and i seriously always get the same grade. that's annoying.

courtney if you're reading this - i'm sorry that your weekend didn't turn out like you wanted it to. i love you!

Saturday, October 9, 2004


so i finally made it to the temple to do baptisms. however it didn't quite work out as peacefully and wonderfully as i had planned.
it's a ward temple trip but when we showed up at 8:30 there were only about ten people there. that was understandable because a young man in my ward died last week and his funeral or viewing was this morning so most people in my ward were there.
so we go to the place to show your recommend, but apparently the baptistry has a separate place so we go downstairs and this old man cuts my recommend and puts it in a plastic sheath. that was weird. then they searched for our ward on the list and apparently who ever is in charge of planning these trips did everything (like put notes on every door in our ward) except for calling the temple and signing up for it. great. so the temple didn't know we were coming. so remember how i got there at 8:30? well i got done at 12:00. i only did six confirmations and one baptism and i could have sworn one of the people i did it for name was Robert Harry and my elbows came up once so i had to do it again. i cannot believe how many mormons there are here. out of control. three and a half hours. it wasn't even the peaceful feeling i usually get to experience either, because everything was so stressful for me for some reason.
then i picked up an ensgign to read while i waited and it was some random july 2003 issue, but it really seemed like two of the articles in that magazine were written for me. it was amazing. after that i felt great. God is amazing.

Friday, October 8, 2004


i really need to start eating more. with homework and exams and papers and sleep and catching the bus, eating just seems to take the backseat. when i have time to eat i'm on campus and i don't want to spend money so then i say i'll cook something when i get home but then i get home and i'm too busy. i'm withering away. and being unhealthy. i need to start forcing myself aargh!

Thursday, October 7, 2004

dangerous chick flicks

seriously peeps. chick flicks are dangerous. hazardous to my health dangerous. i leave them just wanting to run out and find someone to snuggle with.
there are no guys in utah that i can snuggle with.
now the problem is apparent :)
of course if i were more open to meeting new people i suppose i could have made new guy friends by now that didn't have girlfriends. but i already have so many friends and they're wonderful people, they're in muncie, but they're amazing. i don't want to replace them. i suppose i could figure out a way to make new friends without replacing my old ones but that's confusing.
i'll just focus on getting enough sleep and doing my homework.

...still it would be nice to have someone to be with.

sometimes i want to have someone to fall asleep next to
and someone to laugh with
and someone to love me when i'm stupid
and someone who i can abide being around
and someone who doesn't make me wonder who they would rather be with
and someone who doesn't want me to be someone else unless that person is a better me
and someone who will just lie next to me with their arms around me
someone to fall asleep with and dream my dreams with and then wake up the next morning and spend my life living those dreams with that someone.

Wednesday, October 6, 2004


my roommate got engaged last night.
nuff said.


so... do ya ever feel drained?
okay here's the skivvy. i had an exam on friday. i had general conference all weekend. i had an exam on monday. i had an exam today and a rough draft of a paper due. i have two exams tomorrow and a paper due. i have a bass recital to go to on thursday and a quiz and a paper due on friday. but then
:) :)
my sister is flying in on saturday along with her best friend and my good friend allison, so things hopefully will be better in the world

lol my roommate came downstairs today and promised that she would try her best to not get too sucked into "sarah world" and get too self centered. she wants me to go dress shopping with her. i am excited about that
oh yeah and for all of my friends that aren't mormon, a head up on weddings here in byu... people meet get engaged and get married on an average around six months. it's not uncommon to hear about four months. people wonder why you're not engaged if it's longer than a year, it's kind of assumed that if it's longer than a year then something is wrong and needs to be fixed or you should just break up because it's not going to happen. it's crazy madness i tell you what. i mean sarah's boyfriend oops fiancee got off his mission this spring, they met while hiking up the mountain with friends and now this fall they're engaged. oh yeah i forgot to ask when the wedding date was... with a mormon - who knows.
i love all y'all

Monday, October 4, 2004


so yeah i survived. :)
suzy and i hung out friday night. we were dancing with my partner from my social dance class. we're trying to get him ready to test with me on wednesday for our foxtrot unit. he's not completely hopeless... i just wish he would lead. s-) next unit is cha cha and i'm super excited about that.
one of my best friends called and has gotten their mission call to ogden utah so i'm super excited about that. suzy and i were so pysched that we started screaming and dancing and pounding pillows. :p
saturday was the beginning of general conference. i watched the session with robbie. it was fun. i haven't seen him in a while he had four or five midterms last week so he was a little busy. we were going to go eat at applebee's during priesthood session, but it was way too busy so we just ordered a pizza and watched a movie instead lol. i started really missing my muncie friends too but then i talked to one of my best friends from muncie on the phone and he made me feel tons better.
sunday i watched the first session at the marble's house with sarah and her boyfriend (it was his house) and then the second session i watched at the roush's! valerie myers, rachel willian, angie sutton, stephanie baker, suzy boyce, and i rounded out the muncie party there. sam didn't know about it until too late, sarah was in SLC, reed was in bountiful and who knows where scott and ryan were. antisocial. we're working on them. ;)
i really enjoyed the prophet's talk during the sunday morning session. that was great. i really need to hear that because i was feeling a little down about the woman's role in the church. it made me feel much better.
this weekend has been a super up and down one emotionally. my roommates saw me cry for the first time when i was really sad saturday night. but i am feeling super great now so i'm glad that life goes on
i decided i give mandy too many cat treats and she is seriously in cat treat denial right now. poor baby... ben roush is soooooo much taller now. it was insane how much he's changed in less than a year. i can't believe he's only a sophomore.
my sister is going to be here in less than a week!!!!!!!!

Saturday, October 2, 2004


okay so good mood.
i had a music exam two weeks ago and i got a 86% on it. needless to say i was not pleased, seriously, it was a music exam and i had studied for a really long time.
i decided to do better on the next one. i took it today and i totally got a 94%! so yeah i'm pleased. :p

i applied for an absentee ballot on monday. i mailed it on tuesday. i hope i made whenever the deadline is. i really want to vote. presidential elections are major. did anyone catch the debate last night? i heard like five minutes of it on the radio and then read a really crappy report of it in the newspaper today so i really didn't get much from it. i'm sure i could find it on the internet somewhere if i searched.

Friday, October 1, 2004

aargh death to buses

okay so lol. i have a meeting with the secound counsler in the bishopric at 6:30 at the church house. i figure that i should leave at 5:30 just in case the bus takes longer than i thought. on sunday's my roommates drive me to church so i've never really paid attention to where the church actually was. however i thought i had passed it on my bus before and i remember that there is a bus stop right in front of my churcfh so i think i'm golden good to go
or not.
yeah so i forgot that i'm utah. it was totally a different church building. sad. so i get off the bus because it's just getting further away from where i need to be and i start walking. unfortunately i don't know where i'm walking towards. i get out my cell phone and call kyle, maria, reed, linda, carolina, melissa, sarah j, sarah haynie, sarah homer, maria, and yeah no one knows the address or isn't home or whatever their reason. no one can help me.
so i'm wandering around in a town that i'm completely unfamiliar with and i have three exams next monday so i'm stressed out so i'm like crying when all of a sudden this man comes up behind me
but apperently he was an nice man, not a freaky man, and he said "excuse me but are you looking for someone" i said no i'm looking for my church buildling. he asked me which ward i was in and i told him and he said oh it's half a block that way. i walked half a block and sure enough there it was!
so i'm half an hour early and i decide to sit on the stoops and study but then yeah half an hour passes and there are no cars in the parking lot and the doors are all locked... suspicious so i call the number that called me to set up this appointment but it was the roommate of the guy i wanted but he gave me the right number and he was surprised and said he would call the first counsler and lo and behold the meeting was supposed to be at the first counsler's house, not the chapel. unfortunately i didn't know where that was. so the guy and his roommate came and got me since it was their fault i was at the wrong place and then waited during my appointment and took me to campus for a concert at 7:30
oh yeah, i got a calling. i'm on the enrichment committee. wahoo. lol
so the concert was classical and jazz music played by a piano and clarinet. it was pretty. i had to go for my music class. i've decided that i like instrumental music better when it's either an amazingly good musician or a large orchestra. i'm still more of a vocal music person.
after the concert i studied with ryan for one of my exams, his girlfriend holly was there too. she's pretty cool.
so yeah i'm exhausted now from getting so emotionally stressed out by being lost and on foot.
maybe i should get a job and save money to buy a car...
i'll still get lost...
but at least i'll be driving.
night y'all